Category Archives: Entertainment

KKKan-Ye

What a week! Being Jewish has never been easy. And I am in no way comparing the public fall from “grace” of a loose cannon, unstable genius who has always found it necessary to publicly embarrass himself (and others – see George W. Bush, Taylor Swift etc.) to the countless atrocities inflicted upon the Jews since the dawn of Judaism.

But this particular circus is scary…the acts themselves, many of the comments on social media and elsewhere, the tacit nods of appreciation, the silence (in pockets), the delayed response by Nazi-founded affiliate Adidas, the emboldened hate groups, and the greater macro-dynamics and undertones. So scary, in fact, that IDROS has been compelled to weigh in on this seismic event and subsequent fallout instigated by a racist, narcissistic buffoon who has regularly spewed more bullshit than high season in Pamplona.

He has always told us who he is. Pink’s prescient but easy 2009 Twitter post following Ye’s selfish, rude and misguided grandstanding at the MTV VMAs has never seemed more relevant. But he has consistently told us that he is not only an ass, but a racist, immature little man-child who believes the world revolves around him and all others should kiss the sacred ground he walks upon. When someone tells us repeatedly who he or she is…it is incumbent upon us to BELIEVE him/her. But in our culture, the good ole dollar means more than anything. We see it again and again. If someone can produce movies, or run a hedge fund, or throw/run with a football, or hit a baseball, or host a TV show, or tell jokes or govern a Southern state, or run an oil company, or own a professional sports team, or run a large real estate company, or own a media company, etc. very, very well (and others profit from these talents)…well then letting a racist/misogynistic/homophobic comment or tweet slide is par for the course. Those who prove they can make other people money are pretty much untouchable…even for nefarious and illegal actions, let alone their hallowed and protected right to speak (or type) freely.

And damn him, but Yeezus could make money. Pretty much everything he touched turned to gold. So his inner circle and various media outlets have turned a blind eye or ignored him at every turn, scoffing…”oh Kanye…he so crazy” or “he’s off his meds, don’t mind him” or “don’t be so thin skinned…it’s only words” or “Kanye being Kanye…don’t mind him” along the way. Worse, some protected him to the point that they buried some extremely dangerous quotes and off-the-record comments (like his adulation for Hitler, which was nearly the title of his eponymous album we know as Ye).

Let me be clear: Ye and his enablers are dangerous! And they kept a lot of the most serious and disturbing rhetoric out of the public eye for years. Why…because he was their golden goose (or because they feared being sued for libel/slander). And I have issue with that last part (and the first part, of course) because shouldn’t media members be encouraged to blow a whistle on thoughts, comments and ideas that could present a danger to others? Isn’t it similar to a doctor or lawyer breaking patient/client confidentiality to prevent a crime? He did make a very antisemitic public comment in 2013, discussing Obama, but it wasn’t followed by a shitstorm of follow up Jew hatred, double downs and refusals to apologize that accompanied his latest episode, and so it was promptly swept under the rug and dismissed as “Kanye being Kanye.”

The PoS Ye has 30 million social media followers. THIRTY F-ING MILLION! That is twice the Jewish population of the entire world. There are levels of wrong, just as there are levels of responsibility. His misguided hate speech (which likely could have been nipped somewhat in the bud, or at least mitigated had one of his enablers or media protectors acted sooner (like in 2018 when he professed his love and adulation for the Fuhrer)). Clearly this latest outburst was inciteful. White supremacists proudly hung antisemitic banners over a freeway in the second most populous city in our country and gave the Nazi salute while the hatred swayed in the wind below them. Too many comments on every mainstream social media outlet praised the rapper, echoed his sentiments and said he was “right.”

That is why Elon Musk welcoming him with open arms to his soon-to-be owned bird-brained social media company was so scary to me…and should be to the rest of you. That is also why the self-proclaimed genius’ deal to buy Parler is terrifying. (And don’t get me started on the likes of Tucker Carlson).

I am all for free speech. People confuse financial consequences and social ostracization with legal ramifications (read: there are none in a country with protected free speech) all the time. They whine every time “cancel culture” rears its head; they talk about the good old days, when comedy was free to be comedy (read: people had free reign to attack every marginalized group out there for laughs, no matter at whose expense those laughs came. About the great free wheeling days of Mad Men, when boys could be boys and make sexual innuendos and bang every co-ed in the office, no matter the power dynamic (and back then, the power dynamic always tilted Y Chromosome). The problem is not “cancel culture.” The problem is the unchecked criminal behavior: the hate crimes and incitement of violence. As for the “cancel culture” response, it can be overdone and wielded more heavy-handed than it should be in some cases…like everything else in America, we can’t do anything in moderation. We don’t understand the concept.

But in this case, the Heartless rapper deserves everything that has come thus far, and so much more.

Bottom line, words have consequences. You are seeing that in real time.

Social Media wasn’t a thing when our Bill of Rights was written, and many of its nuances could not be anticipated.

There is a reason members of the KKK wore (and continue to wear) hoods. They didn’t (don’t) want their doctors, lawyers, neighbors, children’s teachers, etc. to know they were in the Klan.

I do not believe speech should be protected if the speech is made anonymously. After all, what then are we protecting? And whom? Put your name on it. Say it without a pillowcase covering your hateful face.

This becomes even more germane (again, not Jackson) in the modern world, where people toss salvos and vitriol from the comfort of their basements (or more likely, their mother’s), using fake profiles, stolen pictures and no repercussions. And those are the actual human trolls. What of the tech-generated, algorithm-based bots? And these will get more and more dangerous with the development of better AI, and more time to learn about humanity and what makes us tick. And believe me…they are learning at exponential speeds.

What goes on in the shadows is and has always been terrifying. Zed’s basement in Pulp Fiction exists, on some level, all over the world. Add to that the element of tech-driven, undetectable, dangerous and inciteful language and behavior and we have a recipe for unimaginable consequences. Jews invariably will be targeted at a higher rate than all others and recently have been seeing an uptick in hate crimes (from our base line which was already unenviable). It is not surprising that most Jews are portrayed as neurotic in all movies and tv shows…we are. And we have every right to be.

Which leads back to the clown prince of Jew Hatred.

How can a billionaire, who has literally found uber success in everything he has touched (from fashion to music production to performance art) have any reason to blame Jews for anything? Oh no, a Jew told him “NO.” Sorry, I guess you will have to go back to your miserable billionaire life and all your other successes. But nobody puts baby in a corner. Nobody can say no to Kanye. Especially one of the Jewish faith. And so it’s open season, not only on the specific person who said no, but on all Jews.

Interestingly, in his song “Who Gon Stop Me” he mentions the Holocaust (and equates the street thug experience of African Americans to the Holocaust). It’s best to avoid comparisons of the Shoah in general, but I guess poetic license in a song lyric can be somewhat justified (you be the judge). Still, what I find intriguing is that his protagonist in this song (and the very title) has the same very cavalier attitude as its author did following his latest barrage of antisemitic outbursts…he literally tweeted that he can say whatever antisemitic garbage he wants, and his most valuable partner (Adidas) can’t do anything about it (aka, who gon stop me). Talk about life imitating art.

Aside from his 30 million adoring followers (and likely more in his overall fanbase) and the comments many of them wrote in response to Ye’s recent Twitterstorm…do you know what really keeps me up at night?

HE OWNS A SCHOOL! Let that sink in.

Sure, it closed down in the wake of this fiasco (though the letter to parents insinuates that the school will be back, open and ready to taint (read: indoctrinate) innocent minds in 2023. And as of this writing, it seems it may not close at all.

A friggin’ school! And a school cloaked in secrecy…I kid you not. I couldn’t make this shit up if I tried.

I mean…as the old adage goes…give a kid a Jew to hate…he or she will hate that Jew for a day (or three). Teach a kid to hate Jews…well that hatred will last a lifetime, and likely be passed down to future generations to continue the hatred. It’s the gift that spans generations. Wait, I believe I just found the new school motto. Anyone know a copyright/trademark attorney?

So yeah. IDROS is scared.

The world is a scary place for a Jew without the Jew Hate. The greed, the guns, the pandemics, the political divides, the economic woes, the war in Ukraine, terrorism, murder hornets, the war on women, sexual abuse, global warming, natural disasters, oligarchs, tyrants, homophobia, drug cartels, etc.

But for us Jews, we get so much more for our money:

We have metal detectors and police presence at our houses of worship.

We get accosted, excluded and treated unfairly on college campuses around the world by pro-Palestinian groups and a slew of other anti-Israel affiliates…even by some professors!

We face discrimination in every walk of life.

We suffer verbal and physical abuse and far too often, murder.

We are threatened more often per capita than any other race, religion or minority, through distributed flyers, graffiti, vandalism, bomb threats and other forms of harassment.

We are denied our history, our culture and our collective truth by holocaust deniers, anti-Zionists and conspiracy theorists.

We are blamed and scapegoated for pretty much everything, by everyone.

We are accused of being rich, powerful and controlling, and also for being subhuman scum.

We face antisemitism from the right and the left. Even known antisemites use us as pawns for their own political gains.

We are accused of being white when it suits people of color in their railings against white privilege, and of being of color when it suits white supremacists and other far right groups in their insane rantings and utopian ideals.

We are not white! Fellow Jews, stop checking that box on the census and on questionnaires. We are other. We always have been other and get told as much by every other group on earth regularly. Sometimes they tell us nicely…more often though, they don’t.

I have children. Jewish children. And I love raising them Jewish and showing them our traditions and discussing our history and ancestry. Going to Israel with them recently was one of the most incredible experiences I could imagine. A dream come true.

But…I am dreading the talk. My kids are too young to really learn about the Holocaust (and the inordinate number of other sickening and genocidal acts of horror inflicted upon us throughout history). To really grasp what it means to be a Jew. Black parents often mention having “the talk” with their children…about their horrific history. About Jim Crow. About institutional racism, red lining, block busting and gerrymandering. About how to interact with police and authorities. About what to do, and not do, if/when they ever get pulled over, etc. And it’s truly heartbreaking that they must have those discussions.

We Jews have our own version of the talk. And IDROS dreads that day…the day my children lose their innocence and learn the truth about our heritage. About what that means, and has meant for their grandparents, and great grandparents. About why there are significant holes in our family tree. About the loss, and the torture, and the starvation. About the freezing cold, the never-ending shivering. About the forceful exile and imprisonments, and the squalor and disease. About the seizure of their belongings, and homes. About their abandonment. About the not knowing. About the omnipresent fear. About their night terrors, and pent-up rage. About Sophie’s Choice-like decisions they all had to make. About their salvation/liberation, only to return to homes that had been stolen from them, and neighbors who wanted them to (read: forced them to) leave. About Israel, a beacon of hope, and how it was attacked from all sides the day it declared its independence. About the two subsequent wars all of its neighbors waged unsuccessfully. About the continued terrorism by the Palestinian, Lebanese and Iranian backed militias. About the pogroms. About the purging of Jews from all countries in the Middle East. About the 1972 Olympics. About the Tree of Life and Beth Israel Colleyville Synagogues. About the Paris attacks, and those in the Jewish day school in Toulouse. About Charlottesville and the tiki torches. About Daniel Pearl. And on and on and on.

So thank you Kanye, for giving me 30 million more reasons to dread that rapidly approaching day…the day I must show my own children that I am afraid and officially welcome them to their reality…to the most hated group on our planet. You, like your idol Adolf, will not succeed. Enjoy your hateful life.

Shabbat Shalom!

Love and Light,

IDROS

#NeverForget

#GoPhils

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Pulp Fiction

There are few movies that have resonated with me the way Tarantino’s opus did. So many memorable scenes, legendary performances, witty dialogue, innovative storytelling and sequencing, and a soundtrack commensurate with the overall greatness of the plot.

Interestingly, as we find ourselves at the edge of the abyss that is the looming election, and all that it represents in the story of America, IDROS can’t help but think that we are living our own pulp fiction right now. No writer…not even Tarantino, or Orwell for that matter…could have scripted a tale that would have done justice to the past year. 2020 has been the most bizarre and heartbreaking year imaginable. I am waiting for someone like Winston Wolf to be summoned, tuxedo and all, and help us all magically clean up the bloody mess of this year before the Missus gets home.

Alas…Mr. Wolf is not emerging from an Acura NSX in front of our homes anytime soon. But one can still wish, right?

A scene that really stuck with me in the movie…and made an indelible mark on my life, to be honest, was a dark and awful and shocking and suspenseful vignette…in a movie chock full of scenes that fit that bill.

But this one scene stood alone in its graphic violence, in its vulgarity and utter boldness, and ultimately in its humanity. Those that know the movie likely know where I am going here, but in these times…these unprecedented times, that scene…that terrifying yet cathartic scene, spoke volumes about life in America…not in 1994…BUT RIGHT NOW, in 2020, with race riots scattered across our country, the most divisive political climate imaginable, and a deadly virus hanging over us like a guillotine blade.

***Spoiler Alert! (though at 26+ years, this one is on you, not me…and shame on you if you haven’t seen this film yet anyway). Butch and Marcellus were kidnapped by corrupt cops. Butch musters his strength to neutralize the “Gimp,” and heads back upstairs toward freedom and safety from the monsters below. Inches from getting away, Butch has a change of heart. What those evil assholes masquerading as law enforcement officers were doing to a man (who moments ago was Butch’s arch-enemy) downstairs was unconscionable. Butch couldn’t let it go. He grabbed a sword and headed back into the dungeon of horrors.

I will let the scene speak for itself.

When Marcellus answers Butch’s “you ok?” with the most memorable line of the scene: ”I’m pretty fuckin’ far from OK!” I believe he was speaking for all of us, who can’t believe the injustice that continues to surround large swaths of our nation…in 2020! ONE HUNDRED FIFTY-FIVE YEARS AFTER THE END OF THE CIVIL WAR. Who can’t believe that a troglodyte used the past four years to pack our Judicial system full of lifetime appointees who will roll back all progress gained by certain minorities, oppressed groups and an entire gender. Who can’t believe this same troglodyte willfully abetted an actual plague in the murder of hundreds of thousands of Americans, and put millions more directly in harm’s way. Who can’t believe the third (or more) of our national population who emboldened and defended the monster who runs our country. Who can’t believe that so many people still support this administration after witnessing the past 4 years. Who wonder what happened to kindness, civility, decorum and empathy in our country and certainly from our elected officials.

We are all pretty fuckin’ far from ok. But we don’t need to get medieval on anyone.

We all have the opportunity to be Butch. Our humanity cannot waver, even as we bear witness to unspeakable horror and evil. We all must head back down those stairs, confront the evil, and do the right thing.

If you haven’t voted already, IDROS urges you to get out there and vote on Tuesday. Vote like your life depends on it. Vote like your neighbor’s life depends on it.

Because Zed’s dead, baby. Zed’s dead. It’s time to move out of the darkness.

As always, thanks for reading.

Best regards,

IDROS

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47 Thoughts

Happy 47

  1. Thank you to all who helped make my birthday as great as it could be under these circumstances. Loved the messages, calls, texts, sexts, cards, emojis, balloons and general fanfare. Special shout out to Mrs. IDROS, who went above and beyond as usual with an incredible surprise recreation of one of my favorite restaurants, menus and birthday dinners.
  2. As usual in America, our policy du jour is about making cents, rather than making sense.
  3. #WearAFuckingMask
  4. #BlackLivesMatter
  5. Who is overseeing the testing sites…I fear those centers lack the regulatory oversight to be effective, and worse, may be spreading the virus (you know…bringing hundreds of likely ill people together to fester in a parking lot petri dish…)?
  6. America is a Cancer…as we celebrate our nation’s birthday, it occurs to me that our American Zodiac sign might be…fitting?
  7. IDROS does not agree with the removal of “all” historical monuments that celebrate racists and miscreants from a bygone era…many absolutely should be removed, and many others should be updated with plaques and inscriptions that detail A) why the monument or statue was erected, and more importantly, B) why the man/men (yes, it is almost always men, not women) are a stain on society, and, if known, whether they were more (racist, misogynistic, generally awful) than was the standard during their time (take Woodrow Wilson for example….)
  8. What kind of reading and self-guided education have you been doing vis a vis racism in America? It’s never too late.
  9. It’s a good thing America has been made great again, because we are not going to be allowed to leave our country again for a while as more and more nations close their borders to our citizens.
  10. What instrument would you rank 5th all time for rock music (after guitar, bass, keyboards and drums)? IDROS goes harmonica.
  11. If you enjoy non-fiction reading, I recommend any of the 4 books by brothers Dan and Chip Heath. Similar to Malcolm Gladwell, they write fascinating, research-based books that dissect important phenomena that affect all of humanity. A lot of what they write can be channeled into self-help and can add value to all of humanity. Dan works at Duke University, and Chip works at Stanford, in case University prestige and affiliation moves the needle.
  12. IDROS is almost as embarrassed to live in Florida as he is to live in America right now…neck and neck really.
  13. Facebook, Twitter and all other social media platforms need to be regulated more fervently in terms of “free” speech. It’s nice that large companies like Unilever, Starbucks and Verizon are now throwing their hats into the ring, pulling ads and hitting FB in its e-wallet…but this again proves that corporate conglomerates have more power than people in America and in the world…and so our politicians will continue to do their bidding, often at the expense of humanity.
  14. Watched “Joker” this past weekend. Uncanny how much Leaf looks like Phil Dunphy…perhaps scarier than the themes in Joker.
  15. I think my favorite moment from last month (#PrideMonth) came when the conservative majority court that our president and his lackeys fraudulently stacked in their favor, ruled to uphold LGBTQ rights…at least this time.
  16. A few celebs that share my birthdate (June 29): Colin Hay, Kawhi Leonard, Nicole Scherzinger, Richard Lewis, Theo Fleury, Pepper Johnson (remember that block by Byars?), Dan Dierdorf, Fred “Gopher” Grandy, Bob Evans (the producer, not “Down on the Farm”)
  17. What’s a tougher watch…the first 20 minutes of “Up” or the first 20 minutes of “Saving Private Ryan?” Any other movies with a more difficult opening to watch?
  18. It is not easy to come up with a list of 47 (he says after only 18 entries).
  19. A Monday birthday is not optimal. A Coronavirus birthday isn’t anyone’s first choice either. But both of those scenarios are outside my control (IDROS mutters to self, “not helping”).
  20. Sad to not be celebrating this lap around our sun at the South Jersey shore.
  21. 40 years ago, all 4 Philly sports teams were elite. This year, who knows…but the Phillies lead the league in positive coronavirus cases, so there’s that
  22. Remember when the Flyers were the best team in the NHL just before Covid shut the world down? Good times.
  23. Recommend Philly-boy-turned-rapper Lil Dicky’s show “Dave” if you need a reco.
  24. Who else is completely skeeved out by paper (and coin) money right now?
  25. Dave Chappelle – 8:46 is pure genius. No doubt he belongs on the Mount Rushmore of comedy.
  26. Who are the 3 others? (Eddie, George and Richard are consensus, but Mel, Carol, Larry, Lucille, Rodney, Jerry, Joan and Carl are all worthy of consideration).
  27. Neil Young’s latest new release of old material “Homegrown” is very good…great in spots. My favorite song on the album is “We Don’t Smoke It No More,” a drunken barroom blues nugget that should be categorized among NY’s greatest blues efforts.
  28. Phish, and especially Trey, have been prolific during the pandemic thus far. I will definitely miss seeing them this summer at traditional venues, but for my money, I prefer Tuesdays with Phish (for DAAM) to those with Morrie (sorry Mitch).
  29.  The selfishness of the “anti-maskers” is mindboggling, and their ridiculous stance is emboldened from the top.
  30. Speaking of ludicrosity, our citrus fruit in chief needs to READ ICCULUS (if he can read)
  31. I think that lost in the 125,000+ deaths so far from Covid (many of which I believe are the direct fault of DJT and state governors like him…yes I mean you, DeSantis) are the countless survivors of the coronavirus, who will become part of the data set that make this seem like a more docile beast than it is, but whose lives have been forever negatively impacted by the disease (breathing issues, lung scarring, organ damage, etc.). We don’t know what we don’t know, and the fallout from this shitstorm is far from realized at this point.
  32. There haven’t been any school shootings on Covid’s watch thus far…so there is at least one silver lining
  33. I have no real problem with calling Covid “The Chinese Virus” or “The Chinese Flu” per se…after all, we still call plenty of illnesses, viruses and pandemics by their place of origin, or by a country name (Spanish Flu, West Nile Virus, Ebola, etc.). I only take issue because of the buffoon who feels it necessary to make it a racist put-down by doing so.
  34. Chuck E Cheese’s declaring bankruptcy, obvious as it may be in these crazy times, is devastating to my son.
  35. The past 3 ½ months have been surreal.
  36. Family Feud style, top 6 answers on the board: Can I get a(n) ______________?
  37. Are the mobs coming for the White House? Will it inevitably become the Multicolored House?
  38. There isn’t a litany of great famous athletes who have worn number 47 in history: Jack Morris, Tom Glavine, Mel Blount, Jerry Lucas, John Lynch are the best of the bunch.
  39. Does 7 qualify as late? Like, am I now in my late 40s?
  40. As a time of day, 7 never qualifies as late (I realize you might be running late for something at 7am or 7pm, or you may have overslept till 7, etc., but that doesn’t make 7 late…it makes YOU late).
  41. How lazy was Susan? Would one instantly know upon meeting her?
  42. 47 is a prime number
  43. RIP Carl Reiner, a true American treasure. My heart aches for Mel, Rob, the entire Reiner family and all Americans who knew and loved one of the greatest comedic minds of all time. In a time where we all can use as much laughter as possible, his void will be hard to fill.
  44. A few more celebs that share the IDROS birthday: Harmon Killebrew, Maria Conchita Alonso (“The Running Woman”), Bret (not Jemaine) Mckenzie, Charlamagne Tha God, and, of course, Gary Busey
  45. America is, and always has been, a work in progress. Our forefathers, some of whom were asshole slave-owners, racists, and misogynists, were remarkable in many ways, especially in their time. And our constitution was drafted to allow America the flexibility to evolve, and to get better over time. Never forget, on this Independence Day, that those who broke from their colonial rulers, did so at great personal and collective risk and against great odds, to create a new land of opportunity for “all” (read: originally, all white men…but slowly, more and more inclusive).
  46. It is incumbent upon all of us to make our country better. Somewhere along the way it seems to have been lost on many that we have a responsibility to continue what our Founding Fathers started. We are truly only as strong and great as our weakest link(s). All of us must strive to do better, to be kinder, to be more empathetic, to educate ourselves and our children, to call out injustice when we see it, to refuse to remain silent in the face of oppression, and to make our nation better for future generations.
  47. Thanks for reading, and Happy 4th. Stay safe everyone!

 

All the best,

IDROS

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The Ultimate List

Funny_Fantasy-football-namesPumpkin spice surrounds us once again, and it is as inescapable as a crowded checkout line at Target. The kiddos are starting (or in the case of Florida, where IDROS lives, have already started) school. Halloween decorations, costumes and candies have flooded retail hubs across America. And so, by the transitive property, we can safely assume that FOOTBALL SEASON is upon us. And with it, Fantasy drafts have hijacked the productivity of at least 60% of society and have added stress and resentment to marriages across the land.  Polls and power rankings are honed and proliferated by pedigreed dart-throwers at major sports media outlets all over the nation.

Why? Because everyone loves lists. All things in life are better when boiled down to an ordered, unordered, random or deliberate list…especially when it’s ranked. Some of these rankings are serious, and help inform people’s choices for colleges, grad schools, private schools, mutual funds, new cars, doctors, lawyers, and a host of other products and professionals we are free to choose. Some are less serious, but nonetheless drive the music we listen to, the movies we see, the Fantasy players we draft, the “top” answers on a certain Game Show and more importantly, the relevancy regarding certain arcana such as the best songs from certain decades, the best movie roles for certain actors, the best quarterbacks of all time, etc.

IDROS enjoys a good list as much as anyone, and so what better way to “kick off” American football season (see what I did there?) than to proffer a very special list…the ultimate list.

Behold, the IDROS ULTIMATE LIST OF LISTS (top 25 answers on the board…revealed in descending order for the reader’s pleasure). As always, if you have any suggestions or additions, feel free to contribute in the comments:

25) To Do

24) Do Not Call

23) Endangered Species

22) Reading

21) Play

20) Wait

19) Christmas (Holiday)

18) Check

17) No Fly

16) Hit

15) Wish

14) Guest

13) Mailing/Contact

12) Most Wanted

11) Punch

10) A

9) Hurricane (Apocalypse) Prep

8) Shopping/Grocery

7) B

6) Sh*t

5) Wine

4) Bucket

3) Set

2) My (…of the best things in life…yes, the one your kiss is on)

1) Franz

Others receiving votes: Top 10, Phone/Contact, C, Short, Packing, Watch, Price, Honey-Do, Luke, Ingredients, UVA, Inventory, Results, Santa’s, D, Answer, Florida State, Drink, Song, Signature, Donor, Passenger, Thank You, Call/Emergency Call

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It Was An Abortion Michael…An Abortion!

Well, well, well, Alabama. I would love to write that you have sunk to a new low, but that is virtually impossible for a state of your “caliber”…and yes, those are air-quotes, and meant to denote the irony of typing such a word and associating it with what can only be described as the inner bowels of hell…a place with fewer redeeming qualities than a disease infested mosquito.

Before I get into the real story here, I feel it necessary to give some points of reference to my seemingly heavy-handed opening salvo…so here are some incredible facts of modern-day Alabama (we all know the glorious history Alabama showcased prior to the Civil War).

  • Alabama ranks dead last in our nation in Education…and has been at or near the bottom every year of your humble author’s life.
  • Average Income of Alabama’s citizens ranks in the bottom five (5) for both median household and per capita income.  IDROS is not trying to belittle hard working citizens, and would never try to mock anyone for their income level. The point here is twofold – First, Alabama contributes poorly to our national income tax coffers as a result of its citizen’s income level; and Second, the state is not carrying its weight in any shape or form and should not have the ability to sway large national issues that may affect US citizens outside of Alabama, ever, as a result.
  • Alabama ranks in the top 10 (#7 actually) in violent crimes per capita…sure, numbers 1 and 2 above contribute big time to this statistic, but there are a number of states that fall in the bottom of one or both of the lists above and has a violent crime rate far below that of Alabama.
  • Alabama ranks at the very bottom (in 2018 it was 49th of 50…in many recent years dead last) for its awful infant mortality rate…so unless the state fixes things and fast, big AL is actually responsible for more dead babies than Abortion…so much for Pro Life
  • Can you guess which state ranks 49th out of 50 in an overall ranking of states, according to statistics including the above, as well as health care, infrastructure, opportunity, general economy, etc.?

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you ALABAMA.

The point here is that Alabama is pretty much the worst place in our country…so doing something like introducing this ridiculous new abortion law is pretty much in line with expectations from a place that ranks 49 out of 50.

Alabama 25Ahhhh…the homogenous group of 25 white MEN, people who are unable to get pregnant themselves…mind you…who took it upon themselves to place the rights of rapists and incestuous sexual predators above those of Alabaman women. Women who are, aside from actually being able to get pregnant, grow another human life (or two or eight) inside of them, get overwhelmed with hormones, have their insides and outsides stretched, crushed and contorted to unfathomable limits, lose countless hours of sleep, and endure pain unknown to all males, actual and EQUAL constituents of these 25 jerk-offs.

The plot gets a little interesting given that Alabama has a female Governor (Kay Ivey). Yep…the populace of that state was evidently enlightened enough to trust their governance to a woman (IDROS believes it must have been a balloting error), but still doesn’t believe said woman should be able to govern her own body. We shall see if Governor Ivey even cares, or if she too is so corrupted by the hypocrisy of the religious right that her own body is no longer part of her jurisdiction.

IDROS would like to make one point crystal clear. No sane person, including IDROS (if you are flexible in your definition of sanity), is PRO abortion. Your author knows HIS lane…and emphasizes the male possessive in absolute solidarity with the fact that this is not an issue that should be legislated, debated, or even posited by any males of our species. Sure, we can opine, when asked, or in the event it is our spermatozoa that fertilized the specific ovum that led to a very difficult decision…maybe even weigh in…in a supportive and chivalrous manner.

But the same people who claim to be PRO “Life” have seen to it that our nation has more guns than people and easier access to them than to clean drinking water. The same mother f-ers that clamor for smaller government want to shrink it so that it fits inside a woman’s vagina…so they can control it from the inside. Talk about hypocrisy. And the vast majority of the government a-holes (and their voter base) who support the legislating of women’s bodies are men (all 25 were in this case).

This “are you f-ing kidding me” watershed moment is even more grotesque and complex than it might appear, however. Why? Because the ridiculous men who brought forth what amounts to the most misogynistic, criminally insensitive and malicious anti-abortion legislation in our nation did so with an ulterior motive in mind. You see, while they do believe the ideas in said legislation, even they, Alabaman politicians, raised and educated in the great school system of Alabama, know enough from their 4 and 5 years in law school and several attempts at passing the bar exam, that the legislation is unconstitutional.

And so these wily little weasels are setting a no-win trap. IDROS feels like Admiral Akbar realizing the deflector shield is still up. The ACLU will step in, trying to protect the females of our species in Alabama, and appeal this legislation all the way up to the  SCOTUS…where the new and inferior, rage-inducing conservative majority sits waiting to pounce…and to upend Roe v. Wade.

IDROS says f ‘em. ACLU, hear me now and listen to me later (yes, in Hans and Franz accent)…do not interfere! Let Alabama remain the stain on our nation it desperately seeks to be. We all see where this is going…back alley abortions; bringing back the coat hangers. I can see the blood running down the legs of those poor women now into puddles in some awful Alabaman alley. The Crimson Tide will take on a whole new meaning. And all the blood will be on the hands of a bunch of men, who thought they knew what was best…not just for the women of Alabama…but for the rest of our country as well. (IDROS apologizes for the nauseating, though alliterative, imagery)

IDROS wishes we rational Americans could have a late term abortion and force Alabama out of the US. They are a drag on our resources and are now trying to influence national policy. They must be stopped.

Kay Ivey…you are the first potential blockade. IDROS hopes you choose wisely…but fears the worst.

In the event Kay drops the ball, or the Alabama House of White Male Dicks vetoes her refusal…

Then ACLU, IDROS knows you mean well. But leave this alone. Don’t let Alabama potentially ruin the rest of our country with its ignorance and hypocrisy.

As a closely related aside, IDROS loves the Godfather Part Deux. An amazing scene (among many) is when Kay explains to Michael that she didn’t lose the baby. Watch here. Reflect. Such a great scene! And to think Alabama even wants to prevent women from snuffing out future Mafia Dons with this asinine legislation. Furthermore, IDROS likes that Alabama’s Governor is also named Kay…maybe she will use this opportunity to grandstand, and theatrically shout “This Legislation Was an Abortion…It was an Abortion!”

Anyway…just my 2 ₡

Thanks, as always for reading.

All the best,

IDROS (oh, and call me Deacon Blues)

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The Circle of Life (A Non-Disney Rendition)

Lion KingThe past month has been mind-bogglingly painful for IDROS, as I am sure it has been for many of you. It’s basically been like Billy Joel’s We Didn’t Start the Fire Part Deux…in thirty friggin’ days. Another horrific mass shooting, nuclear war somehow becoming more likely to invoke Nena-like apocalyptic nightmare scenarios for the first time in 25 years, natural disasters out the yin yang (is that still a saying?), celebrity deaths that leave us shaking our heads (IDROS was particularly saddened by Walter Becker’s passing), the only Vice President IDROS likes these days got diagnosed with Breast Cancer, various examples of racism and homophobia, terrorist attacks, This is Us got the axe (kidding), another oil spill, the best quarterback in the NFL broke his collarbone (and ruined IDROS’ chances of winning his fantasy football championship this season), Kaepernick still doesn’t have a job and the movement he has spawned has caused a caustic environment throughout the nation, our president’s lack of empathy (demonstrated in numerous ways this past month) continues to embarrass and frustrate many Americans…and on, and on, and on.

But the story currently gripping the nation, sending shockwaves through the entertainment industry and beyond, finally motivated IDROS to make time in his busy schedule to hunt and peck for a stretch in an effort to make sense of all of the hopeless and catastrophic BS that haunts us as we enter the fourth quarter of 2017.

You know…the story that ensures you will never look at a potted plant the same way….ever again.

IDROS is not surprised by the news, to say the least. And obviously that is part of the problem…pretty much nobody was. Screenwriter Scott Rosenberg penned a well-written post about his Golden Goose named Harvey and the role the silence of those around him played in the sick and twisted mogul’s twenty-plus-year (likely much more) run harassing hundreds of unsuspecting women (click here if you haven’t read it yet).

While entertaining, IDROS did not find the piece to be enlightening…in fact it served only to reinforce the feeling IDROS already had upon first hearing the news…of course everybody f-ing knew. And to think: Disney owned Miramax during the time Harvey really rose to prominence. Wholesome Disney…meet your sinister underbelly. We shall see if the brass over at Mickey Mouse’s Clubhouse knew about the rat they had lurking inside their Magic Kingdom.

Disney inadvertently helped create Harvey Weinstein when they purchased Miramax in 1993. Disney also created The Lion King, a mostly accurate portrait of earth’s animal kingdom and the symbiosis necessary to perpetuate the health of life on our planet. IDROS wants to discuss these themes as they relate to pretty much all of the awful news gripping our planet. Grab a drink and a snack and make yourself comfortable…this could take a while.

Bullying is a topic of concern among most parents in America, and likely the world. It has emerged and jumped to the forefront of national dialogue in recent years in the wake of various school shootings and an increase in suicides among America’s youth. But bullying is not new. We know this because Biff Tannen, pretty much the poster-boy for bullying, was brought to the big screen in 1985, more than three decades ago. But bullying has been around since the dawn of man…in fact since the dawn of LIFE.

Animals of all species have bullies, and always have. Darwin explained the phenomenon using his theory of “Survival of the Fittest.” Alpha males of various species assert themselves in a myriad of behaviors in order to gain access to the best feeding territories, clean water, safe terrain free from enemies, or at least more easy to defend, and most importantly, to suitable mates. Females, for their part, are generally open to this display of male dominance, and often to the point of allowing (or at least accepting that) their mate is also mating with several other females, because mating with an alpha male improves the odds that her offspring will be stronger, faster and more able to survive. Bullying is a trait necessary for survival in the Animal Kingdom.

Humans have evolved. But our base instincts are still derived from our pre-civilized time as animals.

Bullying is a major problem. In fact, IDROS will go so far as to say, as far as the future of society is concerned…bullying is THE problem. It is the singular greatest problem man has…and always has been.

All conflict is a direct result of bullying. All fights are a direct result of bullying. And all wars are a direct result of bullying. Think about that. Let it sink in. Any time a person or group of people attempt to assert themselves over another, for ANY reason…they are acting the bully.

Awful criminal activity is pretty much universally some form of bullying. From blackmail to rape, human trafficking to armed robbery, pedophilia to organized crime.

Furthermore, there are more subtle forms of bullying. Bribery (which unbelievably is legal in the form of LOBBYING), harassment (sexual and otherwise) and racism. While all of these types of bullying can be overt, often they manifest in less public ways…especially in the anonymous age of the internet. But acts such as racism are learned…and so just being racist assholes in the confines of your home, around your children, without directly committing any racist acts to anyone else, can have deleterious effects.

Not only are humans wired genetically to be bullies, but we pass on bullying behavior socially and educationally as well. Children and adults alike witness aggressive or ignorant behavior at home, at school, with their friends and even in the workplace, and become infinitely more likely to act similarly.

Maybe more impactful than all of that is the cyclical nature of experience. People who are bullied, especially as children, are more likely to become bullies themselves. Children whom are molested and/or abused are exponentially more likely to become predators themselves.

Bullying is a true circle of life. Scar was a bully in The Lion King. And when he rose to (read: murderously seized) power, the kingdom became a desert wasteland. Sound eerily like any scenario that seems more and more imminent every day in the actual world?

Power is the drug that fuels pretty much all bullies. And all forms of bullying are an assertion of power over a bully’s prey.

Americans elected a friggin’ bully to be the leader of the free world. If that isn’t a complete nod to the fact that bullying is in our DNA, and that Americans have all been bullied themselves and so are now subconsciously (and unfortunately, in many cases, consciously) becoming bullies themselves by placing the king of all bullies on the proverbial Iron Throne! And our Confederacy of Dunces isn’t the only nation to have a bully in its highest office. Russia, North Korea, Syria, China, and the Philippines among others fit the bill. But our bully-in-chief has displayed a rare aptitude for bullying, demonstrating his prowess in a multitude of ways over the years: Racism, verbal abuse, threats, and of course, sexual harassment/abuse.

Sexual harassment and abuse is rampant around the globe. Vile rapes and sexual mutilations occur with ridiculous frequency…and those are the ones we find out about through the media. 50% of our society is disrespected on a daily basis…and always has been. Even some of the male population gets sexually harassed and abused. And women can be perpetrators as well.

The god-damned Fearless Girl statue on Wall Street…wait for it…Fearless Girlwas commissioned by a hedge fund that was recently outed for unequal pay practices. Hypocrisy emanates from every scandal that is uncovered. We are all guilty.

The Harvey Weinstein scandal is important. It helps pinpoint the focal point of all that is wrong with modern society. If we can identify a problem, we can then work to address and overcome it. But it won’t be easy.

When IDROS was in middle school, a bully was tormenting some peers in the hallway. The bully was pretty much twice the size of the then awkward 11-year-old IDROS. Rather than confront the bully and tell him to stop, IDROS chose to laugh at his classmates. IDROS didn’t even go and report the bullying after the fact, in private…not even anonymously. The guilt still lingers. It is compounded by the fact that IDROS felt good whilst chuckling at his peer’s misfortune. Good because IDROS wasn’t in the crosshairs himself, but also good because IDROS definitely felt better about himself at that moment because for whatever reason, this gargantuan troglodyte decided that IDROS did not deserve his wrath…which in your author’s sophomoric mind…must have meant that the asshole liked IDROS more than the unfortunate souls he was targeting. It meant IDROS was higher on the social hierarchy, in the view of our school bully, than those other “losers”…some of whom, incidentally, were my friends. The bully caught two of my scrawny classmates by their shirt collars as they tried to run away from him. I could hear one of their shirt necks rip and stretch. “You think they’re fags?” the bully asked me. “How would I know?” I answered. He then forced the two boys together face to face, draped their arms over each other’s shoulders and forced them into a hug. “What about now?” he asked, laughing. I laughed nervously. But I laughed. I said nothing. I did nothing.

I’m not saying it was putting a bag of dog-shit on my best friend’s porch, lighting it on fire and ringing the bell type behavior. But the bully wasn’t one of the cool kids, either. I think about that day sometimes. I try to make sense of it. I see the fear in the eyes of my two friends. I hear my nervous laughter. And I think about what I should have done…could have done differently. I also think about scenarios like in the aforementioned Can’t Buy Me Love, about whether if the bully was not merely a giant jock strap, but someone who was cool and revered at my school…what would I have done? What would I have been willing to do to impress them? IDROS was bullied and teased at a young age. And so this instance of not being bullied when I definitely could have been was a game changer. Rather than risk becoming a rat, a tattle tale, and thus give new reasons to Mr. Asshole to turn his charms on me, I did nothing. I said nothing. I laughed. And I even enjoyed it on some incomprehensible level.

And so I come back to Scott Rosenberg’s post. A rising tide lifts all boats…even if said tide happens to be a tsunami. At a certain point though, those boats gets smashed on the rocky shore just like everything else. He knows it. You can feel his shame, his guilt emanate from the screen you are reading. He is trying to get that monkey off his back, as he clamors for others who rose on Weinstein’s coattails to do the same. It’s got to be cathartic. But is it enough?

Look, if anyone has ever watched Beautiful Girls, a vastly underrated film that put Rosenberg on the map back in 1996, there is a scene toward the end where Mo (who was likely a bully in high school), played by Noah Emmerich, is pounding on the rich cuckold Steve’s door. When the door opens, Steve’s friends are pinned into a snowbank, and the target of Mo’s fury begins to cower and beg for mercy, Mo sees his genuine fear and also, through the open door, his young daughter. He sees the lives that hang in the balance from his and his friend’s (Matt Dillon’s) actions. He feels guilt and shame…and he feels EMPATHY, and the audience experiences it with him. Both the writing and acting are stellar.

And if Rosenberg understood this well enough to create that moment, I am going to accept his apology. Heaven knows IDROS hasn’t been perfect. We are all human. We are all bullies. We are all bullied.

But things do need to change.

Hollywood has championed a recent trend to feature television shows and movies that center around flawed anti-heroes…most of whom are BULLIES (think Tony Soprano, Frank Underwood, etc.) Even women are portrayed as bullies…Cersei Lannister, Selina Meyer, Norma Bates, etc. We, as the audience, are demanding this, and consuming it at alarming speeds thanks to on demand streaming services. Americans are living vicariously through our favorite bullies, allowing them to satisfy our subconscious desire…our INNATE desire…to be the bully ourselves.

Who among us, when Dr. Melfi was raped, didn’t secretly or openly yearn for Tony to find that piece of shit rapist and do unspeakable things to him. The writers were actually smart in not satisfying our craving, because truth be told, their closure would never have measured up to the horrors each of us likely unleashed in our own imaginations. We want this. We enjoy this.

So much so that we (and by we, I in no way want any credit for it) as Americans actually elected a head of state that reflects this inner bully.

But still, things need to change.

And it will be an uphill battle to make positive change regarding any aspect of bullying if the leader of the free world is as big a bully as the world has ever seen. I don’t care what side of the political fence you tend to occupy…the man who our countrymen elected to sit in the Oval Office is so lacking in empathy it is terrifying. So perhaps we should start there. I mean if Big Harv was fired from his own company, unceremoniously removed from its board and banished from all things Hollywood, I believe Agent Orange has earned a similar fate. Who’s starting the “Your Fired” campaign on Change.org?

Second, we need to adopt the same credo for all bullying that we do for terrorism (which is, itself, a form of bullying). See Something, Say Something. Especially for those of us who witness acts of aggression but aren’t victims ourselves. Victims often remain silent because they were traumatized, and don’t want to be traumatized a second time by reporting their awful experiences…especially given there is a chance their account will fall on deaf, or unsupportive ears. It is up to the rest of us to create an environment where bullies cannot operate, where the silence of victims and witnesses alike actually aids and abets the perpetrators.

And finally, we need to LISTEN. We need to value and respect the women (and men and children) who are victimized. We need to really hear them, and comfort them and offer to help. Sometimes we need to make hard choices, and help even when we are told not to do or say anything. IDROS is not a trained therapist, so would recommend consulting one before going rogue. But we all need to listen.

We’re all in this together…and overcoming our genetic predisposition for bullying, our psychological and physical damage from bullying as well as our awful behaviors that were taught to us by our parents, friends, peers, colleagues, siblings, teachers and other “role models” from the time we were born will be hard.

But in the incredible words of JFK, “We choose to go to the moon in this decade and do the other things, not because they are easy, but because they are hard.”

Slow clap finale as the screen fades to black.

#MeToo

IDROS

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13 Reasons Why

Earlier this year, my wife and I (yes, IDROS is married…sorry ladies) watched the titular Netflix show thinking it might be good for us, as parents, to learn a little about what the youth of today may be experiencing. Also, perhaps we could glean why the series became such a viral sensation so we could seem in tune with “Non-Fake News” topical subject matter at the proverbial water cooler, or while mingling with our counterparts at kiddy parties or activities. I can’t say I hate-watched it…In all honesty, IDROS was generally entertained by many aspects of it, and found some eerie similarities to Season One of Twin Peaks (which I might just discuss in another post)…but what your author enjoyed most about the series, hands down, was the music.

Which brings me to the much more interesting event of 2017, IMHO, that plays on our triskaidekaphobia for the low and totally worth-it price of 13 easy installments of $74.99 plus whatever applicable fees and charges various sources inexplicably get away with shaking us down for these days.

And I suppose now is as good a time as any to forewarn you. This will be a long(ish) post. Not quite as long as that Lawn Boy Supreme served up on July 25…but let’s just say it might run you a deuce and a half or even two jaunts.

This Baker’s Dozen run has been extraordinary from the starting gun. Even people who aren’t phans have taken notice, and if they haven’t, they should. Phish sets the gold standard for a live convert experience. This was going to be special from the moment it was announced.

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So without further ado, here is the MEAT of this post. 13 reasons why IDROS loves the foursome named Phish:

  1. It’s my thesis, man – Let me first say that I have never witnessed a full Gamehendge set in its entirety. Until TBD, the closest I ever came was a group of four shows I caught where they played all but 2 songs (non-consecutively). I don’t know how many of you faithful readers actually researched, wrote and defended a thesis, be it in college or grad school, but it is no joke. Still, when I think of someone writing a thesis I don’t usually harken back to my own terrible experience. I tend to conjure up images of the guy in PCU who apparently spent his senior year watching every movie that featured Gene Hackman or Michael Caine. When, toward the end of the cult favorite (which starred a young Ari Gold, obviously before he found a dentist), said thesis writer stumbled upon a movie that starred both Caine and Hackman, he yelled out “this is my thesis man!” It was pure comedic gold…but it was funny because to those who have toiled in the stacks for hours, coughing up dust from never before read tomes, scouring microfiche, developing blisters from banging on a Mac keyboard at all hours of the night, pumping our bodies full of Mountain Dew (or worse), blinding ourselves staring at the small endlessly blinking cursor on a screen the size of a pack of cigarettes, editing, re-editing, and then waking up in a cold sweat the night before our defense/presentation…we only wish our thesis could have been that entertaining to research…and that fulfilling when proven. We all know the plural of thesis is feces. But Trey Anastasio’s thesis at Goddard College, The Man Who Stepped Into Yesterday, is a masterclass in and of itself. If you’ve never listened to the Gamehendge chronicles from beginning to end, played a rare cassette tape until your car radio ate the tape, permanently scratched CDs from overuse, or were lucky enough to attend one of the rarest of Phish shows where the band played the rock fantasy operetta in its entirety…my advice to you is take an hour and do it. Oh…and read the friggin’ Book!
  2. Then Once More – every band has a gateway drug…a song that speaks to so many, inviting them in for further inspection with its pleasant beat, catchy hook and major chord melody. Bouncing Around The Room is a song guaranteed to bring a smile to pretty much every face at a Phish show because of all of these things. An early Phish tune, BATR has been reeling in Phish phans since 1990, but the thing I love most about the song is that it really encapsulates, and even showcases, the strengths (and to a lesser degree, the limitations) of the band. Fish establishes the beat from the jump and Mike lays down the bassline. With the structure in place, Trey and Page harmonize the vocals, with Page quickly demonstrating he has greater vocal range, but Trey, ever consistent (vocally), holding down the melodic fort. Page and Trey sprinkle in some keys and guitar as appropriate. The song slowly builds…Mike eventually spearheads the vocal and musical magnificence that ends the song in a round with his limited but deep baritone voice. Trey and Page beautifully layer both their voices atop Mike’s and begin to really unleash their respective instruments in what amounts to three minutes or so of pure musical bliss. All the while, the Wolfman’s Brother keeps the whole thing together.
  3. Deep Cover – Phish is a super talented band…not only do they prolifically write their own music, tour often, and sit in with other musicians…but all four lead their own side projects, experimenting in a multitude of musical genres, from funk to bluegrass to jazz to classical and even some dabbling in musical theater. It should be no surprise then that Phish, when together, is able to draw on these experiences as well as their vast talents, channeling their musicianship in ways few bands can. They play other people’s music with respect, but also have the courage and ability to take songs and give them a personal and unique take. I won’t say that every Phish version of a covered song is better than the original, and vocally, most of the time, Phish versions fall short. But musically, and occasionally, comedically, most Phish versions are superior, if not simply more entertaining. They have covered artists across pretty much every major musical genre, primarily alone, but a number of times on stage alongside the musicians they are covering. From Aerosmith to ZZ Top, BB King to Jay Z, Katy Perry to Chaka Khan, Miles Davis to Rage Against the Machine, Neil Diamond to the Beastie Boys, Jimi Hendrix to Bob Marley, Joni Mitchell to Elvis Presley…they are not afraid to take chances, and they have added hundreds of songs to their repertoire. And during this current TBD run, they are adding dozens (pun intended) of new and exciting covers to their songbook. Which leads nicely into…
  4. Ghost – One of IDROS’ favorite differentiators of the band has to be their Halloween costumes. Instead of dressing up in traditional costumes, however, Phish, beginning in 1994, has donned musical costumes, playing a full album of one of their inspirational musicians or bands. This has included the Beatles’ White Album, The Who’s Quadrophenia, the Talking Heads’ Remain In Light and The Velvet Underground’s Loaded, which IDROS was lucky enough to witness live. These musical costumes are stuff of legend…and for some lucky fans, unexpectedly in Utah in 1998, just after that year’s Loaded Halloween show, Phish played Pink Floyd’s Dark Side of the Moon, leading many phans to speculate that the band rehearsed both albums for Halloween and made a game time decision to go with the VU album. Many classic songs from these Halloween shows remain fixtures in Phish’s normal tour set lists.
  5. Say Yes to The Dress – With everything going on in the world today, and especially in our own country as it relates to discrimination, hostility and the giant step back basic human rights and equality seem to have taken this past year, Fish’s donut-laden muumuu, which has been a fixture for decades, seems to say to the LGBTQ community, “feel free to join us….you are safe here.” This makes IDROS happy.
  6. The Women Are Smarter – Phish have written some amazing songs about women over the years. From Suzy to Esther, Tela to Eliza, Reba to Olivia, Jennifer to the incomparable Landlady…and have mentioned many others (Liz, Millie, Jill, Vanessa, etc.). So here’s a shout out to the women of Phish. IDROS is partial to Esther, which is one of the most terrifying but beautiful songs ever written. A short story…Phish rarely plays Esther anymore. This has been the basic trend for over a decade. Many times, the band eschews the song for entire tours, even years. IDROS has attended exactly one Phish concert with his beautiful bride (who was merely IDROS’ girlfriend at the time). At that show, Phish played Esther. We were engaged the next day. To give you an idea of the odds – since 1998, there have been about 635 Phish shows. Phish has played Esther exactly 12 times in that stretch. That is once every 53 shows, or less than 2% of the time. Since our “engagement show” Phish has also played the song on my wife’s birthday as well as on another very significant date to us. In other words, the song Esther is very important to my family, and the cosmic Phish gods know this.
  7. Somewhere between Erie and Pittsburgh – Many great bands have at least one movie/documentary that captures them, realistically or fictitiously, at the peak of their popularity and creativity. From A Hard Day’s Night, to The Grateful Dead Movie, to Stop Making Sense to Purple Rain to IDROS’ personal favorite, The Last Waltz. Phish’s movie, Bittersweet Motel, came out in 1998, pretty much capturing the foursome at the height of their powers with footage from their 1997 tours. It is funny, filled with great live concert footage and captures the band members in rare candid moments most fans seldom see of their idols. In retrospect, the film is also aptly named as it is poignantly capturing the beginning of the end for the band, who would break up for the first time a couple years later. Fortunately for all of us, the band was able to put their differences aside, Trey was able to get the help he needed to move forward, once briefly in 2002-2004, and again hopefully for good in 2009-present. So now, hopefully a sequel is in the works, capturing Phish 3.0 in all its glory. Maybe it will be called Blissful Bed and Breakfast, or perhaps, just, JOY (oh, wait…).
  8. A Higher Purpose – There have been many articles written about the “religion” of The Grateful Dead and Phish. Loyal fans who follow them, an earthy way of life, drug based and sober “religious experiences,” and the artists themselves, assembled upon the pulpit or bimah, rifling through the newest testament of all…the music. Like the Dead, Phish has a number of spiritual and religious songs, both originals and standards, that they play regularly. From Daniel Saw the Stone, and of course Avinu Malkeinu all the way through Trey’s opus, The Man Who Stepped Into Yesterday, which is as spiritual a story as any you would find in the Bible, there is no denying that there is a large spiritual element to both Phish and its congregation of phans. Every time IDROS sees TMWSIY->Avinu live, your author hopes Fish or Mike would say “Tekiyah Gedolah” into the microphone, and TMWSIY would be played on shofars, or rams horns to kick it off. IDROS’ favorite version of a spiritual song ever played by Phish is Yerushalayim Shel Zehav, which ends their song Demand on the Hoist album, but has only been played as part of the song Demand once live. Phish has played YSZ twelve times in history (here is a favorite)…. And yes, to IDROS, Chris Kuroda is the Ner Tamid.
  9. Page side, rage side – IDROS plays the piano. Page plays the piano. IDROS believes Page is the greatest pianist in the world. Trey may be Phish’s “front man,” but for my money, Page is the MVP…a close race to be sure, but it is what it is. When given the choice IDROS sits or stands on the left side of a venue facing the stage…cause that’s where Page’s keyboard surrounded throne sits on the stage.
  10. A Festival to End All Festivals – Ever notice how SOAM can be a viable acronym for both Split Open and Melt AND Scent of a Mule? Yeah, I know I’m deflecting. There are not a lot of positive things to say about the great mudfest of 2004 (IDROS refuses to mention its name). The storm-ravaged fairgrounds resembled a third world country that had just been decimated by a hurricane…to those of us lucky enough to make it in. Thousands were stranded on a highway that could have been a scene right out of an apocalyptic movie where everyone is trying to flee the cities. And poor Cactus…the ace of bass was clearly forced to announce on the Phish radio channel set up for the festival for everyone to turn back and go home. Well my group persevered. We made it, came equipped with fly fishing boots we picked up along the way, hiked miles to and from the fairgrounds, slogged through the muck and the general malaise and melancholy that hung like a guillotine over the downtrodden faithful, and bid our farewells to our favorite band. Oh yeah…Phish was hanging their instruments up after this “Un-festive All.” Calling it quits for good this time. I mean, they say nothing ends well…that’s why things end. Well if this were to be the end for Phish, they were going out in a spectacular pool of vomit and putrescence. And for that, and because I had been to three other glorious Phish festivals, I got to see my musical hero, Page, melt down and cry on stage during Wading in the Velvet Sea, and because it wasn’t really the end…but rather an end to a bad time in the arc of the band’s story…I can include those three awful days in Vermont among my 13 (you can have good without bad…and sometimes it takes hitting bottom to rise up and attain true greatness).
  11. Dancin’ On My Lawn – Phish is an amazing band if you wanna dance. When the band is bringing the funk, almost any song could be an opportunity to showcase your Camel Walk. Some songs (like MOMA, SOAM, Jibboo, Boogie On) let you break it down from start to finish. Other tunes, like YEM, begin with a composed section, which is difficult to dance to (read: sober), but builds into a funkier, free-flowing dance party after a few minutes (think Bowie, Hood, DWD, the Lizards, etc.) Reba, in IDROS’ opinion, is in a class all by itself. While it seems to fit into the latter category of a song that builds to a dance fan’s crescendo (it does), the beginning is not so much the orchestral building block that is the staple of many other early (read: core) Phish songs. In fact, deep into Reba at the opening show of TBD, IDROS came to the following conclusion: Reba, as a song, is very much like the love scene in the move Armageddon. The whimsical silliness of the beginning is like the animal cracker-based foreplay, which gets more and more inane, until…even if Liv Tyler and/or Ben Affleck aren’t your thing, you get the idea. Out of the ludicrous comes pure, unadulterated bliss…some of the best dance jam music Phish ever unleashes.
  12. Atama Ga Shock – Because a long time ago, IDROS lived in Japan and developed a working knowledge of the Japanese language, your author was over the moon when, in 2000, Phish toured Japan and unveiled the Japanese lyrics to the chorus of their song, Meatstick. It would have been incredible to have lived in Japan during said tour, but I have seen Meatstick performed half a dozen (yes, we are counting in dozens for this post) since 2000, and every time I hear them break out the Japanese lyrics it brings a huge smile to my face.
  13. You Can’t Always Get What You Want – TBD has taken Phish’s unique live concert experience to new heights. No repeats in 13 days (this was posted after 12 shows but IDROS has faith) ensured not only every show was unique, but that every song was as well. Phish fans know, however, like Dead fans, that a lack of repeated songs aren’t what make this band so fun to see live…rather, it is the freshness of the setlists, and the trill of the chase. Phish has a number of rare songs that they play once in a blue moon. They also can be full of surprises, playing new covers, or old songs in new ways. We all treasure those shows where we can say “we were there when.” And just like the Stones forewarned all of us…we may not hear the exact songs we were hoping for when we had that ticket stub in our hand…but we always get what we need…and the Phab Phour always give us everything they have.

Phish – Thanks for a great three weeks, and for an amazing 35 years.

And to my faithful readers, IDROS hopes you caught at least one show during this outstanding Baker’s Dozen run.

Let’s all live while we’re young. We can still have fun!

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Summer School

So I’m driving toward Longport on Tilton Road for my family’s annual pilgrimage to my childhood beach community down the shore, and we pass the Shore Mall movie theater. I was instantly transported back to my adolescence, and in particular, one jaunt to that theater occupied my thoughts on this passing. After all, it had been pretty much 30 years to the day when two of my favorite guilty pleasure movies were released. Because I was 14 and did not have my license yet, getting a ride off the island to one of the two Cineplexes (Cineplexi?) in the vicinity happened pretty infrequently (i.e., when my friends’ or my parents wanted quiet, or when any of them were headed to the movies themselves due to rain). We were otherwise confined to the limited selection at the Margate and Ventnor Twin theaters, but more often than not, had seen all four of the movies offered in pretty short order.

Summer_school_poster

Summer School and The Lost Boys came out the very same weekend during the summer of 1987. At the time, I wasn’t entirely over my childhood fear of horror movies (I went to see Poltergeist with an older cousin when I was 9 years old and had nightmares for a full year). So despite the fact that pretty much everyone I knew was talking about TLB…especially the girls…and I was at an age where I definitely preferred to go places where girls might be present…I made the difficult choice to see Summer School, a movie I knew little about and which proffered a B-list cast (other than one of the stars of my then-favorite television show Cheers). As an aside, I had no idea who Mark Harmon was at the time, and would see the movie Stealing Home later that summer for the first time. Melrose Place wouldn’t put Courtney Thorne Smith onto the map for a few more years.

To this day, I am not disappointed in my decision. Summer School was great. Mr. Shoop, roller skates, Wondermutt and all, saved the day, against all odds. Ana Maria was great (and would go on to play Alotta Fagina in Austin Powers). And the dude who spent the entire summer in the bathroom was, put plainly, my favorite character in the movie. Summer School did highlight a great deal about why America’s education system is so horrific…from the emphasis on standardized testing, the tenure system, the lack of resources in the public school system and of course the complete neglect of those students, whom for whatever reason (and this particular film highlighted a multitude), failed to grasp the basic skills to move forward in their education, as determined by a Scantron test. But nevertheless, it was a fun summer movie chock full of classic quotable lines and characters, and is a movie I will seldom turn off if I happen upon it flipping through the channels.

It wasn’t until The Lost Boys made it to the premium cable channels the following year that I finally found the courage to watch it. And watch it again and again and again. This movie featured a cast of mostly male youngish actors who were heartthrobs. This was not the reason it resonated with me. I did not subscribe to Seventeen, Tiger Beat nor Teen Magazine. I did not find any male member of the cast dreamy, not the Coreys nor Jason Patrick nor Jack Bauer nor William “Bill” S. Preston, Esquire, for that matter (I did have a thing for Jamie Gertz for a hot minute, but it wasn’t a love that was pursued after the credits rolled). The movie won me over because its script was well written, its plot was intriguing and suspenseful and its soundtrack…all I can type is wow. In the opinion of IDROS, whatever that is worth, TLB has a Mount Rushmore level soundtrack for movies not about music or musicians (this idea alone is worthy of another post sometime in the near future, so stay tuned).

TLB is one of those movies that is sneaky good in so many ways. Among the many reasons it is nearly impossible to turn off whenever I happen upon it are the fact that its themes are timeless (brotherhood, being the new kids in a strange town, family dynamics, the dangers of love and how clueless we can be when falling under its spell, etc.) The movie also offers plenty of comic relief throughout, be it from the Frog brothers or Grandpa, to cut the horrifying tension and counteract the overarching evil that lurks beneath the seemingly innocuous teen romp the movie often appears to be. And finally, at the base of it all, TLB is a Vampire movie. Before True Blood, the Vampire Diaries, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Blade, and a generation before the Twilight saga, one could argue that TLB was one of the first (no, IDROS did not forget Anne Rice) to successfully expand upon Bram Stoker’s themes and package them for teens and young adults thirsting for a blood-sucking Brady Bunch story…or at least a more modern twist on Vampiric lore.

Anyway, during a recent viewing of TLB, which spawned the idea for this post, IDROS began to see Max’s family of undead in a new way. My epiphany occurred during the most unpleasant scene in the entire movie, IMHO, which is when David and his Lost Boy brothers take Michael out to “hunt” for the first time, and they horrifically feed on a group of partying young adults around a bonfire. As I watched the awful scene unfold for the umpteenth time, I realized that Vampires, particularly those in this movie, are a terrorist organization not unlike ISIS, or Al Qaeda. Think about it…they kill innocent people in gruesome ways; they recruit others by promising eternal youth (a trip to heaven surrounded by virgins); they blend into society, even having jobs such as the friendly town video store proprietor; they use caves as a hideout/lair/home; they are vengeful; and the greatest connection of all – Kiefer Sutherland who plays David, arguably the most fearsome terrorist, I mean vampire, in TLB, would basically reinvent himself more than a decade later playing the foil to terrorists worldwide as Counter Terrorist Unit (CTU) superman, Jack Bauer.

If you want to know how this post came to be…the truth is it was on a dare. Someone who reads IDROS gave your author four themes, and threw down the gauntlet. “You seem to be posting less and less frequently. Here’s some motivation. Combine the themes ‘Summer,’ ‘Education,’ ‘Terrorism,’ and ‘Tina Turner’ in your next post and I will bestow upon you my own version of a Pulitzer” (when pressed for details on said prize, IDROS was told that it involved a ticket to an upcoming concert).

CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!

Oh, and as for Ike’s ex-wife: The shirtless, long-haired saxophone dude who plays on the amusement pier in TLB (“I Still Believe”) is none other than Ms. Turner’s chief of brass on tour. Check him out here basically pleasuring the venerable pop star with his horn in an amazing version of Private Dancer.

Happy Summer all.

IDROS

Trivia:

Did you know that TLB was originally written to be an updated take on Peter Pan, in which Peter (which was David’s original character name) was a vampire? It’s true. There are a multitude of Easter eggs from that storyline that remain in the movie, including the title itself, that point to that original theme. IDROS is glad Joel Schumacher, who directed, insisted on removing the overt Peter Pan references.

There is one actor/actress who appeared in both movies referenced above. Can you name him or her?

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Kilroy

mr-roboto

The problem’s plain to see

Too much technology

Machines to save our lives

Machines de-humanize

I apologize to the loyal readers of IDROS for my long radio silence.

I do not want to get political, and have tried to refrain from joining, and invariably contributing to, the awful vitriol that has engulfed our nation and all media and social media outlets over the past year.

IDROS has basically sat stupefied, mouth agape, head in hands, alternating between muttering and outright screaming streams of four letter words since the election cycle got into full swing last year…the histrionics picked up after the primaries, and the past month has been a giant shitstorm of head-scratching, visceral pain, recurring nightmares and abject horror.

The dystopia that has enveloped what I once believed to be the greatest nation on the planet is NOT the fault of the Orange Twitter Troll. He is merely a symptom (think diarrhea, or migraines, or vomiting, etc.) of an amalgam of problems that all came to a head over the past decade…but how anyone in this once proud nation of ours with a true second grade education or higher can look me in the eye and honestly tell me they are 100% confident in having a male Kardashian, a narcissistic man-child with thinner skin than refrigerated pudding, a lying, misogynistic, shallow, science-denying troglodyte at the helm, influencing global and national policy on a daily basis…is beyond my comprehension.

But still, trying to avoid politicizing this post, it is not the doofus played by Alec Baldwin’s fault that we are in this position. DT did not create the rampant pay-to-play, corporate controlled political system mired in a “no-win,” corrupt, two-party system that ensures whomever escapes the gauntlet with the presidential crown will be beholden to many rich and powerful people and companies and other nations, but never to the actual people who vote en masse. And DT is not responsible for the racism that flows effortlessly from sea to polluted sea (even if he has become its champion), nor the firmly entrenched institutional racism that continues to divide our nation long after the Emancipation Proclamation, Abraham Lincoln and the fall of John Crow.

The Donald, toupee wearing ass clown that he is, and his band of unqualified, upper-crust, out-of-touch, swamp-dwelling-extraordinaire, racist losers that comprise his cabinet, has become a scapegoat and the ultimate target for the leftists in our nation. They will spend the next year, or two or four, or god forbid, even eight years fighting these f-wits’ every move…and with good reason. But what really needs fighting…and their full attention…are the reasons he “won.” The underlying cancer(s) that have thrust our nation into this mess, that made it possible that a self-conscious 12-year-old in a 70-year-old’s body could ascend from the celebrity C-list circus to the highest office on earth.

Or so I thought…

We have a bigger problem than Trump, his mostly unqualified and undeserving cabinet, and the reasons most research and media outlets point to as why Trump won…a much bigger problem, one that threatens all of humanity, frankly.

Maybe you are wondering why I titled this post “Kilroy,” and led with a song lyric that seemingly has nothing to do with anything I have written to this point.

Maybe IDROS simply really loves Styx, and fondly remembers roller skating at Young’s Regency to songs like Mr. Roboto. Maybe IDROS was hearkening back to a simpler time, in the early 80s, when IDROS was 10 and hadn’t a true care in the world…when the man-sized Oompa Loompa was still married to his first wife and had not yet opened any casinos in Atlantic City.

Or perhaps IDROS speaks Japanese, spent some time living in Japan and appreciates the references to the Land of the Rising Sun, and the Japanese language in the lyrics.

Or…the band’s name really seemed apt today. The mythical river, after all, was as divisive as our current Halloween Marshmallow Peep-led administration, and I suppose many would be pretty satisfied with the analogy of POTUS Chump to Hades. Even Cerberus, the mythical 3-headed beast guarding Hades, is well-represented by Bannon-Spicer-Pence. Hades himself is described throughout the mythical canon as being cold, stern and wrathful, with a childish stubbornness, rage and poor self-image (which derived from him basically drawing the short stick, which banished him to lord over the underworld, while his two brothers inherited the air and sea).

While A, B and C are all solid guesses, and pretty spot on in their own right, the truth is IDROS recently read the scariest article ever and realized humanity, especially for those in the 99%, is in greater peril than imagined. Even by great thinkers like Carl Sagan, who in 1990, warned: “We live in a society absolutely dependent on science and technology and yet have cleverly arranged things so that almost no one understands science and technology. That’s a clear prescription for disaster.”

The article in question: Click here

Please find a quiet spot, take a deep breath, click on the hyperlink and try to make it through this piece without flying off the handle.

I am sorry for sharing that with you. But here’s the thing. I reiterate…it’s still not Trump’s fault. He harnessed [read: purchased] the power and used it for his own brand of evil, sure. But this technology is up for grabs. If it wasn’t him, it would have been someone else…and it will be seized upon by people and entities far worse than the giant Cheeto. And used in ways far more sinister. Think about it. And by the way, this is only the beginning. This technology will improve, and become even more accurate. The data it uses will only become more accurate and more pervasive. And I hate to say it, but just as Sagan (and Orwell, and a litany of others) warned, the majority of the world population will become more and more ignorant to the increasingly advanced technologies that drive this Orwellian nightmare.

After a rough stretch, I sat down and pondered the situation. I believe we can make a concerted effort to combat those who might seek to exploit us through technology. My thoughts are below. As always, IDROS welcomes and encourages all of you to comment and add to this list:

  1. We really have become way too dependent on technology in general. Whatever you can do to ween yourself off the teat of Silicon Valley, even just a little bit, will be helpful. I realize this is a platitude, so find a way to unplug every now and then…put down the smart phone, read an actual book or magazine, write an actual letter…learn or embrace a non-tech-related hobby…exercise more…go acoustic…find your beach;
  2. Make yourself difficult or even impossible to map by these BIG BROTHER wannabees. This is where it gets interesting, and even fun. Don’t be so predictable when using technology. Visit sites that have content opposite or vastly different from your own beliefs. When shopping, hit up online stores that go against all of your fashion sensibilities, your musical taste, and your general preferences. Go to dating sites where you never in a million years would think to go. Same with porn. Same with news, sports, blogs and anything else. AND MOST IMPORTANTLY, don’t buy shit online if you can help it…(I realize that organic baby food your baby loves isn’t sold in stores, and you need your anonymity to buy those Civil War and Third Reich relics…and I know the convenience is pulling you like gravity, but think of it as saving the retail real estate industry. I know. That is going to be tough. But if you want your freedom, think of IDROS as Morpheus, and this advice is the red pill (and the removal of the tracking device);
    • ***On a related topic, we are already way past the point of no return with how we buy things…because of credit cards, debit cards and all sorts of electronic payment options, tracking our spending habits gets easier every day. I am not sure how we reverse this, or ensure complete privacy, but how we consume is and will continue to be a leading driver in how tech companies and those that control them can map us, our personalities and ultimately anticipate how we behave and thus influence our vote (if we even have a vote anymore);
  3. Turn your devices off whenever you can, and be sure to disable any cameras unless you are using them – who knows who might be watching, or hacking;
  4. Know that whatever you post, email or blog will be permanently inscribed for eternity, and will be searchable and likely used against you either directly or indirectly. Be careful, and teach your children to use caution as well;
  5. Stop taking those ridiculous tests (IQ, Which Facts of Life Character Are You? How well do you know the movie Sixteen Candles? What Color Is Your Personality? ETC…) This goes double for those social network games, by the way…you know who you are, and to what I am referring…just stop;
  6. We need to find out which tech leaders are with us [read: good people], and empower them to assist us in preventing a 1984/Matrix/Terminator tech-driven dystopia. People were very quick to #deleteUBER, and screamed bloody murder when Elon Musk joined Trump’s advisory team…but if any of these tech leaders (Gates, Zuckerberg, Ellison, Brin, et al) truly have humanity’s best interests at heart…we need to figure that out, and we need those men and women to join ranks with the likes of Trump and Theresa May, and to ensure that harmful technology does not end up in the wrong hands; and,
  7. If I am missing anything, and I am sure I am, because this is complicated and mostly above my paygrade, please add to these ideas in the comment section below.

IDROS is frightened by recent events. There is a lot going on, and much of it, unfortunately, is awful. While the media is in many ways as bad as it is good (and in, fact, is largely responsible for an ego like POTUS rising from Reality Star to his current perch), what is happening vis-à-vis Cap’n Hell-Toupee and multiple media outlets is unacceptable.

F-it. I tried to avoid getting political, but I can’t do it.

IDROS promises not to ramble on too much more, but here is my general take, if you couldn’t crack my code already:

Trump is bad….and embarrassing. But none of this is his fault. The system was clearly broken before his ascent from the bowels of the underworld. With a great deal of assistance from technology, which is pretty much terrifying, and a little more from Russia, which is scary too, especially since they seem to employ technological warfare quite well, here we are, on the precipice with all that is sacred, watching as the foundation supporting us is eaten away and compromised more quickly than a sand castle in a rising tide…during a hurricane.

IDROS is generally optimistic, however. All of what was broken before Brexit and Trump still threatens us… more so even than Trump and his Fourth Reich. Had anyone else won the 2016 US election, nothing would have changed. None of our systemic failures would have been fixed. And we would continue to plod along in a broken world, becoming more and more marginalized. IDROS believes that our current assclown-in-chief is so loathed, and so bad for humanity in general that he will serve to actually unite enough people to not only remove him and his cronies from office, but also to fix much of what created the perfect storm that led to his election in the first place.

Anyway…keepin’ it light pre-Oscars. Enjoy the show tonight. RIP Bill Paxton. And if I am wrong/misguided regarding my optimism above, in one of his great character’s immortal words (using a bit of poetic license), “we’re stewed buttwads.”

Thanks as always for reading,

IDROS

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Filed under Current Events, Entertainment, Movies, Music, Politics, Uncategorized

Fare Thee Well – Seven From The Vault

It has been a full three weeks since I embarked on the emotional rollercoaster weekend of music, friends, community and fun that was Fare Thee Well: Three Shows in Chicago. I finally caught my breath, had time to reflect and find my voice (my external voice, which was spent from exuberance, singing and cheering; and my internal voice, which has been sorting through and processing the full spectrum of emotions and experiences GD50 provided). I have been combing through the attics of my own life since first discovering the band in 1985, reading reviews and articles, re-listening to the shows, juxtaposing those performances with some of my favorites from throughout the ages (thank you Archive.org and Sirius 23), and really trying to wrap my arms around not only last weekend, but my all-encompassing thirty year love affair with the band. (Find a link to my last GD related post here… this post received the honor of Freshly Pressed by Word Press)

I read a while back about the origins of the band name. Jerry sifting through a large tome (Funk & Wagnall’s Standard Dictionary of Mythology, Folklore and Legend) at Phil’s house one night, hanging out with the band in their formative years…presumably playing as the Warlocks. He comes across an entry where the two words jumped off the page at him…numbingly black, bordered by gold…just staring him in the face. Grateful Dead. And beside the words began a short parable, a folk story of a hero who came upon a throng of people who were mistreating a corpse…kicking and spitting at the dead body, speaking ill of the man it used to be and refusing to bury him. The hero inquires as to why the throng would desecrate a man’s honor in such a way, and was told the dead man had not paid his debts to the townspeople. Upon hearing this, the hero gives the townspeople every last cent he has as well as all his worldly possessions to ensure a proper burial for the corpse. The townspeople obliged, and the hero was on his way. Later, he comes across a wanderer in his travels who accompanies him on the next leg of his journey. His new traveling companion helps the hero amass a small fortune in short order, and also saves the hero’s life. Later, he reveals to the hero that he was the corpse that the hero had honored.

Or maybe the psychotropic drugs the band was using at the time helped Jerry embellish his memory, and he just really liked the name. Either way, I never let the facts ruin a good story.

But nonetheless, Fare Thee Well certainly honored the life and memory of one of rock music’s greats. And it also honored the entire band, its revolutionary contributions to the music world, its community of fans…and the incredible 50 year journey we all have helped make so memorable.

The number seven (7) played a key role in Fare Thee Well. The musicians on stage numbered seven…and July, the month of all three performances, is the seventh calendar month. The letter G, which begins both the band’s name and its founder’s surname, is the seventh letter in the alphabet. There are seven letters in Chicago, Soldier, Shapiro, Madison and in Bob Weir. Even our mail orders were sent to GDTSTOO. (It’s been hot for seven weeks now, Too hot to even speak now, Did you hear what I just heard?)

In keeping with the number seven Gematria, here are my seven most pressing takeaways from Fare Thee Well:

1) Jerry – Let’s discuss the elephant in the stadium right up front. I like to think that the real reason Bobby and Phil couldn’t keep this thing going TOGETHER after Jerry’s passing is that it was just too hard. He meant so much to all of us as fans, and certainly to the music, but he meant so much more to his brothers…his band mates for thirty years. Hearing Phil’s words before his donor rap Friday night, you could tell what Jerry meant to him. And if you watched The Other One, Bobby’s recently released documentary, you get a clear picture of exactly what Jerry meant to him. Jerry was the straw that stirred the drink. He was the engine, the driving force and de facto leader of the band, who had a magical voice I have described to my wife as what I believe the fabric velvet would sound like if it were audible. The sadness we all felt when Jerry died must have been exponentially more intense for the core four, and for at least some of them, being together and playing the music and living that life together would just bring his memory back…magnify the fact that he was missing and reopen the wounds. It must hurt…and I get it.

BUT…there were moments each night, when the band was in synch and emotions ran high, when I could feel Jerry’s presence right there on stage. It brought tears to my eyes. And the well thought out two-song encore on Sunday…TOG and Attics…well that was almost unfair in its perfection. We will get by…we will survive. Because even when there are no strings to play, he played to all of us. Jerry is eternal through the beautiful musical legacy he left us.Jerry FTW

We, as fans, never had the chance to say a proper goodbye. Maybe the band didn’t have that chance as well. Fare Thee Well provided everyone with a perfect opportunity to bid Jerry farewell, and to celebrate all that his life and legacy have given to us.

Five themes (Music/Dreams/Children/Love/Gratitude) were constant throughout the weekend, within the lyrics of the songs the band played, within the Grateful Dead songbook as a whole (which provided a backdrop to our collective experience in our hotel rooms, in our cars, and all over Shakedown Street), and as abstract or overt messages in the event itself.

2) Music is the unifying force, and is central to why we made the trek to Chicago in the first place…and that is true for the band and the fans. The band’s lyrics are rich with musical references, allegories and imagery. We are all players in the Heart of Gold Band. Our weekend was, in fact, replete with fireworks, calliopes and clowns.

Coming full circle, and opening with BOR, the very song that would be the last played by the band with Jerry in the same venue, was ethereal. This simple but well thought out gesture signified to the throngs that the band understood, and was on our collective wavelength. It demonstrated the band’s commitment to its fans and the history of the Grateful Dead and to Jerry to, for the next three days, create a bridge back in time twenty years and deliver a proper farewell…one none of us ever truly experienced…and a true celebration of the band, the fans and especially the music.

And the music we heard was great. Frankly, it might have been, overall, the best three day run of music I have seen the band play since the early 1990s. It wasn’t perfect, but when has it ever been? There were moments of transcendence, and others that certainly wouldn’t warrant an ante in a game of Jacks or Better…but that is what makes this band so special. There is a 400+ song musical treasure trove from which they can choose from on any given night, and to only repeat two songs over the course of five shows was amazing. To put that in perspective: U2 just put on two shows in MSG over the weekend and there were 19 songs out of a 23-25 song show that were repeated both nights. And the Fare Thee Well set lists were chock full of fan favorites and rarities, and offered a nice representation of the evolution of the band’s full oeuvre across four decades.

Music is why we came…and the music delivered, on all levels.

If my words did glow with the gold of sunshine; And my tunes were played on the harp unstrung; Would you hear my voice come through the music; Would you hold it near as it were your own?

3) Dreams, like good music, take us places only our imagination will allow. There are no limits. Dreams and dreaming are a constant theme in the GD canon. We all dreamed the band would get together again one day…

All the years combine, they melt into a dream.

When there was no dream of mine, you dreamed of me.

4) Children: In the two decades since I last saw the Grateful Dead, a great deal has changed in my life. The greatest and most important change was/is the birth of my children. I know I am not alone. Children are found throughout the GD oeuvre. Playing the songs for my children, watching them dance and tap their feet to the music is priceless. Jerry lives on through his music…and also through his children. We all do.

God bless the child, who rings that bell.

And the kids, they dance and shake their bones.

5) Love: My wife and I shared our first dance together as husband and wife to They Love Each Other. Love is a ubiquitous theme throughout the Grateful Dead songbook. Even the songs the band covers tend to focus on the greatest of all of life’s forces. There was so much love in Chicago. I couldn’t make it to Santa Clara, unfortunately, but I am sure love ran ram shod at Levi as well.

A box of rain will ease the pain and love will see you through.

You know our love will not fade away.

6) Gratitude: There was so much to be thankful for, the shows may have been better served being played the fourth Thursday in November. The band’s lyrics are littered with gratitude, as is the band name. But Fare Thee Well was really a giant forum for us, as fans, to thank the band we all love one last time, and for that band to thank us for an incredible ride. And for all of us to thank Jerome John Garcia.

Shapiro certainly deserves praise and thanks for his efforts. It was no small task to put that incredible three (five) day run together, and to basically tie-dye the city of Chicago. I frequented his first club, Wetlands, in NYC for years, listening to Dead cover bands and other Jam band offshoots, so I know firsthand where he came from, and booking the Phish cover band Stash to play for 150 people, mostly from the same Long Island town the band hailed from was a far cry from Fare Thee Well. Who knew?

001It wasn’t always pretty, but as Dave Chappelle so eloquently put it from the witness stand during his Michael Jackson trial bit…”He made ThrillerThriller.”

Trey also earned high praise and gratitude from most in attendance and those in the cheap seats on couch tour. He performed admirably in a role that featured a higher degree of difficulty than the Triple Lindy. In many ways, he was in a no-win situation…and yet, somehow managed to prevail, proving he was the right man for the job and delivering some memorable takes on a number of songs most feared could not be properly interpreted by anyone other than JG.

But you know who else deserves more thanks than he got in Chicago…and in general over the years? Robert friggin’ Hunter, that’s who. That cat can straight up write lyrics…maybe Bob Dylan was better….maybe. But he’s on a very short list at the tippity top of whatever Mount Rushmore of lyricists our world has ever seen. And I can’t tell you how many times his words have brought a smile to my face.

7) Chicago/Soldier Field – Chicago was, in typical fashion, the Second City yet again. But this paid off, as the band found their footing and began to really gel by the time they made it from Santa Clara to Chicago.

Soldier Field was not ideal in any way. Stadia in general don’t offer the best acoustics when it comes to music. And this particular stadium had the most god-awful ingress-egress issues that it made an all-cash toll booth during rush hour seem like an Easy Pass lane on a rural freeway. It seemed like some evil genius was watching through one-sided glass as he funneled the crowds slowly toward a torture chamber.

But…we all made it in to the shows…and back out into the Chicago nights with giant smiles on our faces.

Soldier Field, like Fare Thee Well, was built to honor and remember heroes. And on this Fourth of July weekend, it served both causes equally. Furthermore, Soldier Field in its present form mirrored the band, as it combined historic architecture, its original look and feel, with modern additions and amenities featuring walls of glass levels and luxury boxes. Soldier Field

As the twentieth set of Days Between approach, and still glowing from the exuberance of Fare Thee Well, we can now move forward with the closure we weren’t afforded back in 1995. Constant reminders of the popularity of this event continue to resonate, both within the Grateful Dead community as well as in the strangest of places if you look at it right…take this article as exhibit A.

I thank Peter Shapiro, Madison House and the band and crew for a real good time. Here’s hoping for another celebration of equal or greater quality sometime soon…and please let it be somewhere on the east coast.

All the best,

IDROS

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