Tag Archives: My Blue Heaven

Upon The Birth Of My Daughter

Many people have requested a blog entry commemorating the birth of my daughter, Zana Maya. I have no intention of depriving my readers of their every wish, plus, I really can’t think about anything else right now. So it’s clearly a win win.

Since the moment Zana was born, here are some of the thoughts swirling through my sleep-deprived and ecstatic mind:

1) Getting to this point was not easy (mentally, physically, financially or in any other conceivable way), but it was incredibly above and beyond worth it;

2) No matter whether you have a boy or girl, as long as it is a healthy baby, the surprise is amazing, mind-blowing and like nothing else I have ever experienced;

3) I keep circling back to my favorite scene in My Blue Heaven, when Steve Martin says in his awful Italian accent, “You know, it’s dangerous for you to be here in the frozen food section.” The target of his charming admonishment, Shaldeen, replies, “why is that?” To which Steve quickly replies, “Because you could melt all this stuff.” Well over the course of the past four days, my daughter has melted my heart and everything else in my body over and over again. When the doctor first showed her to me, when her little footprints were inked onto her records and into her baby book, when her little hand first wrapped around my index finger with a tighter than expected little grip, when she first opened her little eyes and mouth, when she stretched for the first time, her first little noise…even her first cry (thought that got old pretty quickly);

4) Thankfully, I enjoy the color pink. I am no Andy Walsh, mind you. But pink is alright with the Floyd, and it’s alright with me too;

5) 9-10 months is a decent amount of time to mentally prepare yourself for the fact that you are having a child, but not nearly enough time to actually get ready;

6) I am quite certain that the speed of the average car leaving every hospital with a newborn child on board is at least 10 miles per hour slower than the posted speed limit for the entire drive home;

7) Thank the effing lord I am not Chinese, cause those A-hole commie bastards would never have let me keep my precious daughter…I can’t even imagine what that must be like for those 50 per centers…and what is really mind-numbing is the shear numbers: there are like 4 times as many Chinese 50 per centers as Americans Mitt claimed not to care about;

8) I cannot wait for my first father-daughter dance;

9) I can’t help but wonder if my daughter will end up in a binder of some sort (sorry to get a tad political, but I couldn’t resist);

10) When your wife has a Caesarian section, you “miss out” on the entire birthing chapter known as labor, popularized in movies and television throughout the years as a prolonged, frightening, painful, loud, often drug-addled experience. I am not sure whether we would have had a similar experience had our daughter not been breech, but I do know we were preparing to go au natural and had been taking hypno-birthing classes. Then again, our experience added plenty of more credence to the old adage, “if you want to make god laugh, make a plan.”

11) If I had to choose, my favorite cinematic depiction of birth probably comes from She’s Having A Baby, primarily due to Kate Bush’s “This Woman’s Work” tugging at your heartstrings throughout the ordeal;

12) With my wife in surgery during the birth of our first child, I can honestly say that I have never feared more for the general well-being of two people simultaneously than I did this past Monday. It was truly gut-wrenching, and I feel blessed that everyone emerged healthy and safe;

13) I am incredibly lucky to have not only my amazing family, but my wife’s as well, to assist us and support us during this special time. Everyone has been great, and I am glad we could all share this experience together;

14) Amazingly, those that shared in Zana’s birth were all first-born children…including Zana. My wife and I, all four of our parents as well as my grandmother are the oldest children in our respective families (this is sort of like a factoid that may interest only me, for those that read Peter King’s MMQ column);

15) I am already so excited for next Halloween;

16) How friggin’ cute is that punim?

17) I absolutely believe my daughter is a giant extended middle finger to Adolf Hitler and the Third Reich;

18) I can’t wait for all of you to meet our new princess.

Yup, I had to go 18 for Chai…and no, not the tea.

Love and warm wishes for a wonderful Thanksgiving to all of you and your families.

We certainly have a great deal more to be thankful about in our home this year.

Thanks for reading,



Filed under Family