Ahhh, March! As the winter freeze begins to thaw and the promise of warmth and new growth becomes reality, millions of people worldwide scramble to fill their brackets to commemorate the greatest three-weekend sports gambling enterprise ever. That annual cratering of office productivity means that March Madness is here! Unfortunately, 59 people will not be participating this year (and couldn’t last year either). And so, in their honor, and in memoriam of all the other victims of October 7 and its aftermath, IDROS presents a unique take on Bracketology: the first ever “Pure MadnessTM” bracket, featuring global stalwarts in the field of antisemitism and rabid Jew-hatred.
Please note that this was no easy undertaking. The regions and seeds were painstakingly scrutinized. Many worthy contenders were left out, relegated to the Jew-hate equivalent of the NIT. Many Middle Eastern terrorists and tyrants (the Ayatollah included) were intentionally omitted because adding them would make this a field of hundreds of thousands (if not millions), and also because IDROS is trying to avoid having a fatwah issued against him. Others, such as the entire Ivy League Administration offices, the cities of Oakland, California and Dearborn, Michigan, many of Piers Morgan’s guests (and Piers himself), many in the former administration, the founders of BLM, the University and Higher Education System of California, the BBC, the IOC, Putin, etc., were our version of the last four out…these obvious choices were in many cases too nebulous, and in one case, superfluous.
IDROS encourages you all to add suggestions, omissions, seeding improvements and general comments and gripes to the committee.
In surveying the field, there are some tantalizing matchups in every round. A potential battle of juggernauts in the Exodus Regional Finals conjures up comparisons to Duke Kentucky in 1992. And who knows, a play-in team from the Inquisition Region could be the first such team to make the Final Four…or even win it all (given the polarized world we live in, both play-in representatives will likely be chosen to advance deep into the tournament by millions of participants).
So choose wisely, buckle up and grab some popcorn. If you, like IDROS, fear for the safety of your children, at least try to have a little fun if possible. And let me know who you have winning it all. No matter who it is, we all lose!
As always, thanks for reading,
IDROS
idontrollonshabbas 